Archive for February 3rd, 2012

Español: Nieve en La Carlota, Argentina Lietuv...

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John is one of my favorite authors and teachers on relationships, grief, dying, etc.  This is the first part of two clips.  He makes a good point as he speaks to the moderator…. when we talk about relationships, health, family, etc, we are really talking about dying and grieving.  One day, maybe we will see that connection.  If you like this clip and haven’t yet, check out his book Awakening from Grief.  He also has two other books out there…

Here is the clip.

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This could also be titled: Seeking Happiness: Being Present.

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For more information, check out Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall Rosenberg. Thich Nhat Hanh also discusses right speech, deep listening, etc in his writing.

Not Just Sassy on the Inside

As I’ve previously mentioned, I’ve long been fascinated by right speech and right listening (see post). The more I’ve contemplated communication the more I’m amazed sometimes that we ever understand one another at all. For instance in my latest post on my other blog I poke fun at the way southerners react to winter weather. In this case even though we’re from the same country and basically speak the same language, our life experiences concerning snow are so different that we don’t understand one another’s views.

I can stand back and take in the usual explanation, that they just don’t get snow as often nor as much so they’re not used to it. OK, up to a point I get that. But then I start reasoning, “But even if you’ve never dealt with 10” of snow, how can you not see that 1” is just not a big…

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Not sure where to start? Try here….

Daily Health Boost

Today’s Inspiration: Yogadork.com

What Type Of Yoga is Best For Me?

“I love yoga! Simply because it makes me feel so good. Yoga has so many benefits for your body as well as your mind. Personally I love bikram yoga  but I like other styles of yoga too. With so many types of yoga out there this graphic can be helpful! Or maybe you want to try a different style of yoga?”

What type of yoga is best for me?

Click  on the picture or here to view the full size version!

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An important issue; I’m glad someone is writing about it. Mind/body practices are so important to the healing process.

Hands-of-Faith Holistic Healing Centers® Blog

When your massage therapist sees you for the first time, it is likely that he or she may take a medical history. Over time, as you become more familiar with your massage therapist, there may be issues affecting your body that are not covered by the medical history or cannot be identified until your therapist has worked with your tissues. You may even have completely forgotten about some physical or emotional trauma that occurred long ago.

Almost everyone has suffered childhood injuries they do not remember and emotional issues can sometimes drive tension deep into a person’s tissues. You may remember that injury or emotionally traumatic event only when the area is sensitively touched during a session. When this happens, a common client comment is, “I can’t believe I forgot that happened to me!”

Your therapist appreciates knowing about body issues from your past, because this awareness can help…

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Cognitive Reactions
  • Obsessive thinking
  • Inability to concentrate
  • Fantasizing
  • Apathy
  • Dreams
  • Disorientation and confusion
  • Rehearsing and reviewing aspects of the loss

Some call it brain fog.  Others call it day dreaming.  We can experience it as being at a loss for words.  Or we can experiencing it as searching for our lost keys, only to find that we’ve been holding them in our hand during the hunt for the last 45 minutes.  And yes, it can all be a reaction to our loss.

We don’t tend to think about the thinking aspects of grief a lot.  We don’t think about our need to perserverate on specific details of the bedside, or the last this or that.  This can be obsessional thinking, but not OCD.  We may find that we cannot attend to details, write down numbers backwards and this is not ADD.

Maybe you just don’t hear the people around you who are talking to you… you only see their mouths move and kind of hear the same noise that Charlie Brown’s teachers make… it just doesn’t sink in.

There are those that would say that this is shock, part of the “Fright, Flight, Freeze, Freak out” response (4Fs).  Others would say that it is the first step in the stages of grief.  I think it is that we are totally overwhelmed mind/body/spirit and to be cleared headed in that moment (however long that moment lasts) would be more than we could cope with.

I think we have to be honest and remember that our grief is adaptive.  It keeps us from being so overloaded that we can’t function at all… functioning at diminished capacity is still more adaptive than not being able to function so it’s in human being’s best interest to have a 4Fs response.

Grief is a time when we often go within.  We question what’s real and what’s not.  We delve inward to make sense of our world, to cognitively reframe what we are feeling and thinking, what our past has been, what our present is, and what a future could hold.

This is the area, especially in the earliest moments of grief that a practice helped me.  I found myself using mantras a lot as they would sometimes stop my thoughts.  If I didn’t have my mala on my wrist, I went looking for my mom’s rosary beads (if she wasn’t using them).  I held crystals and rocks because it was something tactile that I could cling to when I felt so unanchored.

This was also the time in my meditation that when I was counting four exhales, I would end up at 72 or 49 or worse, I would stay at one because I wasn’t able to stay present more than one breath.

I tried to cope with my cognitive scatter… I wrote lists, only to lose the lists.  I tried having a routine but then I would stop mid routine and wonder, “what am I doing?  what do I do next?”

This was a time when it was really hard for me to have compassion with myself; I had always prided myself on my intellectual and scholastic abilities.  I was blessed to have a loving mentor who kept reminding me that I wasn’t going crazy.  Her words would help, in the moment, for a second, or until I drove away.  Then I would lose myself in fog again.  I didn’t have a lot of faith in the process of grief but I stuck with what I knew would be some saving graces.

With a lot of time, a lot of sharing, retelling my narrative, going deep within to find meaning in my life, taking care of myself, exercising, having a purpose (to go to graduate school), and I finally felt like I had made it to some other shore and had lived to tell about it.

Actually, on that other shore, I simply acknowledged that I had gotten to a place of comfort with my achy heart and I could sit with someone in their achy heart and neither one of us would explode.

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English: Pink Lotus

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I found this brilliant recording of gate gate paragate.  Enjoy your listening meditation.

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