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Archive for February 7th, 2012

Everything Matters: Beyond Meds

Let your tears come. Let them flow, flood, storm, shake and wake you. Let your whole body cry, weep, sob. Drop below any shame you might have about crying so openly, letting your heart break, knowing that what is breaking is not your heart, but only the energetic encasing around it. If you feel like a child or infant as you cry, let it be, keeping your mind out of it. We have so much unattended sadness, so much muted sorrow, so much life-force tied up in keeping our tears, new and old, from fully surfacing. But surface they must, if we are to truly come alive… ~ Robert Augustus Masters

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Wonderful article by Robert Masters on Beyond Meds:

●  Don’t give fear a thought (for anyone who ever deals with anxiety or fear)

Books by Masters:

●  Spiritual Bypassing: When Spirituality Disconnects Us from What Really…

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suffering…

As always, Dimitri has a great post. . . this time on suffering and 5 reasons why he thinks we suffer. . . take a look.

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Pieces of Her . . .

I love finding articles, blogs, etc about Men’s grief. It’s difficult for many men to come in for individual counseling or for groups. But, writing, doing, those are great things and I love that the internet has provided a space for men to share their stories and to do their grieving!!

Our Story Begins

Moon River sung by Louis Armstrong – You MUST get the connection, right?

In the months after Andrea passed away I had to make a lot of decisions and get rid of a lot of things very quickly.  I rid myself of a lot of what Andrea disliked about herself the last few years.  She had gained a lot of weight, none of it purposefully and much of it because of medical reasons.  None of them were life threatening, though the weight obviously was.

With my parents’ help, due to the necessity of moving, I had to get rid of much of her clothing.  Dresses, shirts, sweat suits, all kinds of things.  Some of it was very dated which made it even harder to go through because it was like looking at a tailored history of the woman who won’t be wearing these clothes any more.  I know everyone says…

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Take a listen to the radio show for this great site!

Alzheimer's Speaks Blog

“I Can I Will” Program

Through Alzheimer’s Disease International

Dr Richard Taylor & Laura Bramly will discuss the “I  Can I Will”  Program

Another way to stand up and speak out. A way to benefit from the collective life experiences of kindred spirits living with Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia.“I CAN! I WILL!” raises awareness about dementia, addressing the myths and stigmas that accompany a diagnosis of dementia, and enabling people living with dementia to be more open with others about their disability.

With support both from Alzheimer’s Disease International (ADI), the I CAN! I WILL! Stand Up and Speak About Dementia project and website has moved from dream to reality.  It is a unique information resource about dementia and the people who live with it.  A place where people from all walks of life and countries can share their experiences with dementia finding hope and inspiration.

The goal…

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Don’t worry that they’ve started with out you. . . As Pema Chodron’s title suggests, start where you are. . .

http://www.sharonsalzberg.com/realhappiness/blog/sharon-salzberg/meditation-getting-started

Join countless others who are doing the Commit to 28 Days of Meditation with Sharon Salzberg.

All this month, Tricycle Magazine has great tips in their online and their paper magazine to help you get started.

Also this month, Shambhala Sun Magazine is devoted to the neuroscience of meditation including a Dharma talk by Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche‘s archives, celebrating the 25th year anniversary of his death.

We have 29 days this month. . . don’t let one slip by mindlessly….

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Old Enough to Love

“Any child old enough to love is old enough to grieve”.  ~~Alan Wolfelt

*Thank you to C. for this picture and to photographer Annette Miller!

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“If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make

who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?”

~~Stephen Levine

I think it is funny that when I thought of a special phone call, I thought of a pink princess phone.  Yes, we had one like this when I was growing up… from Ma Bell, when times were simpler. . . we had one phone company, 5 tv stations, one school uniform with either a gray or a red cardigan, 1 dinner time, and 4 people sitting around the table. . . and 20 minutes after dinner, I would get a call from my grandfather.

We had the same conversation every day.  Whatcha have for dinner?   Whatcha learn in school?  Whatcha doin tonight?  I rolled my eyes every time, I’m sure.  Every night, until I was 16 years old.  And most nights since then, I’ve wished that the phone would ring so I could answer those questions again.  Though, for the last year, my dad and I have decided to skype every night… so instead of my grandfather, we ask each other these questions.  It’s a bittersweet time actually.

Oddly, when I think of the calls that I’d like to make, many of them are to people who have died.  Just to hear their voice one last time.  I have nothing unsaid, no one who I need to tell “I love you”. . . I don’t have that regret in my life, even if I have others. . .

So whom would I call?  A very dear friend who I’ve lost contact with in the last three years.  Someone who was a huge part of my life for seven years and who I counted on every day.  I don’t know if she knows how much I miss her. . . how much I miss talking every day.

And what would I say?  That I was sorry that after all of the loss in my life, I needed to find a quiet, respite time to care for my soul that did not include anyone and that I was sorry if she and my other family of friends didn’t understand.

And what holds me back?  That I have forgotten that one day, one of us won’t be here.  That one day, one of us will get that phone call or that email with a time and place of a funeral or memorial service. . . that someone from our circle of friends will let one of us know that it is too late.  It’s easy to forget that this day will come to us all.

I think we need to pick up that Pink Princess phone daily and call ourselves and ask these questions that Stephen Levine has asked us. . . we need to sit with this and if we are wise, we will tell the little voice on the other end of the phone that day will come. . . don’t we want to make that call and tell that person we love them instead of waiting until we get that phone call to tell us it’s too late. . . .

With much gratitude and tenderness of heart,

~~Jennifer

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