“You cannot go into the room where someone is dying
and not pay attention. Everything is
pulling you into the moment.” ~~ Frank Ostaseki
In 1987, Frank Ostaseski helped form the Zen Hospice Project, the first Buddhist hospice in America. In 2004, he created Metta Institute to broaden this work and seed the culture with innovative approaches to end-of-life care that reaffirm the spiritual dimensions of dying.
I love listening to his 3 tape series entitled, Being a Compassionate Companion. It has so much heart and he conveys the teachings of the Buddhist Path and the hospice experience in such a natural, gentle way.
In these three tapes, Frank gives guidance and explains these important teachings for cultivating a compassionate presence at the bedside:
- Bring your whole self to the experience.
- Don’t wait.
- Find a place of rest in the middle of things.
- Cultivate “don’t know” mind.
Over the next few days, I will be sharing more about each of these precepts (teachings).
I hope that I can share what I learned from Frank and from working at hospice. Most importantly, I hope that when you encounter another person, you learn to take a deep breath and settle in and truly open yourself to the experience.
More to come.
Related articles
- Hospice Refresher Course (griefresourcecenter.wordpress.com)
- Final Gifts: Must Have Book When Someone You Love is Dying (namasteconsultinginc.com)
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Thank you for this! I’m so happy to have found your blog as it will serve me in my work as a hospice reiki practitioner!
I loved doing reiki with people at hospice. I had some pretty amazing experiences when I worked with clients and staff who were open to it being offered. Such good stuff is being done out there. Would love to hear more about what you are doing.
Peace.
I am struck by the deep wisdom here. These practices should of course be part of our way of being with any other person- within or outside the hospice care setting. Each of us suffers; each of us needs to be fully present for the other, as much as we can.
Such an evocative and powerful post. I’ll be watching for the followup posts.
Thanks so much Thomas. There are several programs in the country that combine Buddhist wisdom and end-of-life. . . Metta Institute that Frank founded, Upaya Zen Center under the amazing guidance of Joan Halifax Roshi, NY Zen Center for Contemplative Care, Zen Hospice, etc to name a few. Roshi Joan has a podcast at Dharma Podcasts (available on the Upaya site or from iTunes). I feel so blessed to have come across Frank’s work with Zen Hospice (prior to him founding Metta Inst). That led me to Roshi Joan, etc etc.
And you are certainly right. . . the teachings are for life, not just the end of life. I think end of life gives us the edge and will often bring people to the teachings but hopefully we learn to adopt them in our average everyday life since any practices on dying, Dharma, or mindfulness are really also about every moment of every life.
Thank you so much for stopping by the blogging and share with me (us) that you were touched.
I look forward to the ongoing dialogue.
Metta, Jennifer
I look forward to this series! I began learning about Buddhist mindset and practices over a year ago. I’m practicing the ‘not knowing’…oh so hard for a person that demands answers. I am also discovering how to embrace everything…not push away. Another difficulty for someone whose habit is to avoid anything distressing. I took a MBSR (MIndfulness Based Stress Reduction) course last fall and am doing the practices pretty faithfully. They have made a big difference.
What a blessing to have found the tools. And as Thomas said in his comment, these practices are so vital to healthy, compassionate, peaceful living as well as dying or companioning the dying.
I often hear Frank’s words (or Roshi’s words) during my day when I am not being mindful.
I would love to take the MBSR course but the closest one is over 2 hours from me. For now, I listen to a lot of Jon Kabat-Zinn and read a lot. It would be great to have a community close by that would support the practice but I have also found that the WordPress community is loving and supportive. I have already found a very dear friend here and several others who I believe are good hearted and caring.
For those of us who are sangha-free, maybe fostering deep listening and compassionate speech in places like this will be what we can do until things change.
For now, I appreciate that you stopped and took time out of your life to leave a message.
I love it when people share their stories and give me feedback that something I’ve put out, a blog, a reference, etc has made a difference to them.
Metta, Jennifer
I do not know how you navigate the space and emotions involved with what you do. It amazes me and I see a person who lives a life with loving kindness.
How generous and loving of you to say. I love working with families and holding space and hope until they can.
And I’m blessed to be alive when mindfulness is flourishing in this country and how many teachers there are who are sharing the Dharma in really important ways.
We all have a story to tell and something to teach each other. Thank you so much for sharing here and connecting to all of us through your blog.
Deep Gratitude!
Jennifer
“You cannot go into the room where someone is dying
and not pay attention. Everything is
pulling you into the moment.” ~~ Frank Ostaseki
OMG, yes. I first did hospice work when I was very young and didn’t really understand why I loved it so much. I used to tell people I found great joy in it but couldn’t articulate why. This quote says clearly and concisely why. I was always present with the people I worked with and that was a large part of the joy in it.
There is not a second that goes by that I do not miss the work. Even when I was dealing with the most pain I had, I still loved being in circle, being present, witnessing stories, etc. If only we were allowed the same spaciousness in all healing relationships.
[…] you haven’t seen the my introduction or the First precept, please click these links before you read about Frank […]
[…] far, I have posted an introduction to these teachings — Attention, Attention. I have also already posted on the first and second […]
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